12:42 AM

Do you ever feel like you are alone? Like there's no one out there who cares or loves you?
I understand.
As a person with mental illness (BPD, EDNOS, Depression, Anxiety & Pyschosis) there were many times where I have felt isolated, unlovable, unrelatable and alone. I have felt like no one truly loved and cared for me. I believed that I was worthless, ugly, and had nothing to offer the world.
To put it simply...I had no hope.
In The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, we are taught to "...press forward with a steadfastness in Christ, having a perfect brightness of hope..." (The Book of Mormon, 2 Nephi 31:20). One of the common symptoms with depression is hopelessness. Therefore having depression I was always puzzled at the idea of hope.  "Why set yourself up to get disappointed?" I thought...that's all hope was to me; setting myself up for dissapointment.
The reason I thought this was because I felt like I wasn't deserving of the blessings from God. I was too unworthy. I wasn't good enough. I was too far gone. Why would God love me?
But then I read this beautiful quote from President Thomas S. Monson...
"...That love (Gods love) never changes...It is there when you are sad or happy, discouraged or hopeful. It is there whether you feel like you deserve it or not. It is simply always there..."
Those words astounded me. For some reason I thought I had to work for God's approval and therefore His love. I felt like I had to do x, y, and z and THEN God would be proud to call me His daughter. But no. God loved us before, God loves us now, and He will always love us. No matter what we do.
You may be thinking, "But I don't keep the commandments, why would He love me when I disobey Him?"
In the Hebrew language the word 'forgiven' is translated as 'fore-given'. The fore is meant as meaning, 'before'. So we can translate that as He has forgiven us before we have sinned. God knows all things past, present and future. He already knows the mistakes we are going to make, the commandments we are going to break, and the love we may not accept. But you know what?  He has already forgiven you of those things. And something even better? He STILL loves you. Yes you.  The one reading this. If you're looking for a sign that God loves and knows you, this is it.
Remember, you're never too far gone to pray. You're never too far gone to be loved by Him. His love is simply always there as stated by our Prophet. 
Note that talking about my hardships I talk in past terms. Why? Because God has helped me through my hardships and He'll help you too! All you have to do is ask Him for help when you're ready and He will answer you.
Please note that if you ever need anyone to talk to, I am here for you.
I love you,  God loves you,
Stay positive.
Brooke Cowan x

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